Holidays in Japan: How to Make the Season Your Own
If you’ve recently moved to Japan, or even if you’ve been here for ages, you’ve probably noticed that the holidays here just feel different.
Back home, December may have been filled with days off, family gatherings, familiar food, and a cozy energy building through the month. In Japan, the holidays often come with work as usual, a quieter atmosphere, and traditions that don’t match what you grew up with. Christmas here is more romantic than family-oriented. New Year’s is deeply cultural, and conceptually complex here and many expats find themselves unsure how or whether to celebrate at all.
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Many expatriates describe the holiday season in Japan as a mix of homesickness, excitement, and confusion. It’s okay if you don’t know exactly how to feel. The holidays can mean different things at different seasons of life and they’re shaped by our own life experiences, which includes living abroad.
Here are some things I’ve learned while living here that have helped me and I hope they’ll help you too! The goal is to create a holiday season that feels comforting, meaningful, and authentically yours.
1. Let Yourself Acknowledge the Differences
One of the biggest sources of stress for expats during the holidays is the expectation that things “should” feel the same way as they did back home or when they grew up. When they don’t, it can trigger sadness, loneliness, or frustration. A helpful first step is to simply acknowledge that this season is different. It isn’t better or worse. It just is what it is and accepting that fact can go a long way towards coming to terms with the negative emotions.
Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Missing certain traditions doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful to be in Japan. Also, enjoying new traditions doesn’t mean you’re abandoning the old ones. Humans are capable of holding multiple feelings at the same time. I can absolutely feel sad that my oven is too small to properly cook a Christmas ham AND I can feel really excited for New Year’s Osechi and Toshikoshi soba. Both feelings are valid and I’m capable of holding both of them.
2. Keep the Traditions That Feel Comforting
Even if Japan doesn't follow the same cycles and rhythms that you’re used to, you can still bring pieces of home into your own space. This might mean cooking a meal that you grew up with. I would advise advanced planning for this, as ingredients can be an issue. You may also enjoy watching a holiday movie you always loved, decorating a small tree or a table with lights, playing some familiar music, and calling or messaging family and friends.
These little rituals can anchor and remind you that home is more than a location. Home is a collection of feelings and memories and moments that you carry with you, no matter how far you travel.
3. Create New Traditions That Fit Your Life in Japan
One of the things that I love about living abroad is that I have the opportunity to redefine what the holidays mean to me now.
Consider how you can redefine the holidays, too. Maybe you’ll be like me and have more lights and decorations than you can even display (or even have storage for on the off season!). Maybe you’d enjoy exploring a new cafe or restaurant or taking a peaceful walk at a shrine on New Year’s. Did you enjoy visiting churches on Christmas as a child? If so, then do some online searching to find a Christmas concert or program at a nearby church. Alternatively, you might find you’d enjoy a quiet, restorative day instead of a busy one. What about spending time with other expats who understand your feelings and maybe are feeling similarly? How about connecting with college students who are studying here and who aren’t able to go home for the holidays? You could very well be that ray of light and hope that someone desperately needs this season.
New traditions don’t replace old ones. They simply expand your holiday world. You might not have time off work or exchange gifts. You might even celebrate on a different day…or not at all. That’s okay. Living abroad often means reshaping expectations in general and what “normal” looks like. Your version doesn’t need to match everyone else’s. It doesn’t need to resemble your family back home, unless you’d like that. It doesn’t need to look like other expats and it certainly doesn’t need to resemble the culture you’re living in. It’s your life and you have the power to redefine what you want from this holiday season.
4. Reach Out If You’re Feeling Lonely
Even if you’re usually independent, the holidays can bring some unexpected emotions. I remember the crushing disappointment I felt my first couple of holiday seasons here in Japan. I still feel the heaviness in my chest and the lump in my throat when I recall trying to figure out how to decorate my home and when I couldn’t find the wrapping paper or proper ribbons. I had two toddlers and was going from store to store, looking for a can of cream of mushroom soup to make my college roommate’s green bean casserole recipe. I gave up when I realized my toddlers weren’t the only ones in tears.
I found that the only way through the holidays was to connect with my friends and family. Loneliness is a human experience, not a personal flaw. And talking about your feelings with someone you trust is often the first step toward feeling grounded again. It might be a good idea to decide who you’ll contact and on what day you’ll call. Having a plan to deal with holiday loneliness can bring you comfort and keep you connected with the ones you love.
5. Remember That Meaning Comes From You
The holidays don’t need to follow a script to matter. Whether you choose to celebrate fully, partially, or not at all, you’re allowed to shape the season in a way that reflects who you are right now.
Living abroad means creating a life with a blend of identities, cultures, and memories. Your holiday season can reflect that too. It can be rooted in the past, grounded in the present, and open to whatever traditions you build along the way. Make new traditions that reflect where you are NOW. That’s what being authentic to yourself is all about. Holding on to what we can’t have or yearning for what others have can leave us feeling terrible. You'll need to decide how you want this season to be remembered.
However you choose to spend this time, I hope it brings you warmth. I hope you feel a sense of belonging and connection, even if it looks different than it used to…especially if it looks different than it used to.