The Missing New Year’s Resolution

February check-in. How’s everyone doing?

I love the idea that everything starts fresh on the first of January!

If you’ve lived here in Japan during the holidays, you know that New Year’s cleaning is baked into the holiday season. I actually deal with a little embarrassment every year when people ask me how my holiday cleaning is going. It’s always a particularly busy time for my family and my job, so I…don’t do it. lol! I mean, I do my normal household maintenance routine, but I’m not cleaning out gutters or power washing my steps.

I’ve asked multiple Japanese friends exactly what this year-end cleaning entails and I’ve heard all kinds of answers over the years. It seems every family’s emphasis is a little different, although I’ve found some common threads being; the removal and cleaning of window screens and light globes covers, the cleaning of heating and cooling vents, and the other more involved dirty tasks that are generally neglected during routine cleaning. When the big stuff is finished, then everything is swept and tidied and your home is deemed ready for the New Year celebrations.

I’m assuming the reason for this extensive cleaning ritual is to start the new year out…new. It feels great and it’s probably related to why everyone feels this compulsion to make New Year’s resolutions.

I love New Year’s resolutions! I consider myself a semi-professional when it comes to setting goals. I’ve always been a goal oriented person. I’m sure I enjoy making goals and planning them, more than the actual follow through. I love my old school paper schedule planner and keep it near me always. It feels as though by writing, planning, and goal setting, I’m at least taking the first steps towards increasing productivity and self-improvement. Maybe it lulls me into thinking I’m using my time more wisely, simply by the act of writing it all down. Whatever the case may be, it’s not a new year until I’ve renewed my dedication to my list of goals.

If you’re like me, you tend to ask yourself some variation of these questions:

“What are my New Year’s resolutions?”

“What are my goals this year?”

“What do I want to improve?”

I’m always curious, so I ask everyone this question a lot around the holiday season. People talk a lot exercising more, dieting, saving money, changing jobs, learning something new, or just being more productive in general. But by February, or sometimes earlier, most of those resolutions have quietly faded. It’s not because people are lazy or unmotivated, but because something essential was missing from the start.

Mental health rarely makes the list.

We often set New Year’s goals as if motivation, energy, focus, and emotional resilience are guaranteed resources. We plan for what we want to do, without accounting for how we’re actually feeling. But mental health is the foundation that allows goals to be sustained. I think on some level, we all know this, so why would we neglect something so vital for meaningful change?

There are likely many reasons for not including mental health as part of our New Year’s resolutions. It’s rather abstract and difficult to measure, for one. There’s also a quiet cultural message for many of us that mental health is something to address only when something is wrong. If you’re functioning, working, and getting through the day, it doesn’t feel necessary to prioritize it. So, it gets left off the list. Besides, social media and online gaming does a great job of distracting us from feeling our feelings.

But when stress is high, sleep is poor, support is low, or when emotional exhaustion is already present, even well-intentioned goals become difficult to maintain. Consistency fades and self-criticism increases. Eventually the goal is abandoned and our pride takes a hit. This negative cycle tends to lead to defeated self talk and decreased self-esteem.

Mental Health as a Practical Resolution

Mental health resolutions don’t have to be abstract or dramatic. They can be realistic and supportive of other goals. For example, you could check in with yourself weekly, instead of pushing through on autopilot. You could set firm boundaries around rest, work, or availability. You could start noticing negative emotional patterns and start seeking support before reaching a breaking point. Simply making an effort to practice any one of these habits could make a tremendous difference in your life. If it doesn’t rock your world, try something else! There’s not one-size-fits-all method for taking care of your mental health, though it would be great if it could be that simple. Find something that works for you and most importantly, don’t give up. You’re too precious for that.

When mental health is prioritized, other goals or resolutions become more achievable, not because life becomes easier, but because you’re better resourced to handle it. Mental health doesn’t need to be a separate category. It’s more like a thread running through every goal we set. Without it, even the best intentions struggle to survive past January.

So if your resolutions didn’t stick, it may not be a lack of discipline. It may be a sign that something deeper is needing attention first. This year, the most meaningful resolution might not be DOING more. Instead, it might involve taking better care of your mind and heart. Maybe it’s time to reach out and get some help.

May this year bring progress that’s supported, sustainable, and kind to you.